The past couple of days have been filled with transitions that are shifting my process of becoming and bringing the greatest clarity of what path I should be walking that I have ever known. You hear the clichés of “Trust the Universe” and “Listen for the Signs” but to live with this as practice, as daily waking ritual to not just say this but believe it, act on it and reinforce it with discipline, has helped me realize, in truth, what journey I must take to become my fullest and greatest self.
It is what I have allowed myseld to believe that has shaped my words, has formulated my thinking and understandings of life, and in turn has brought me to act, to wake with purpose to do, to create, to live out my becoming. I ask myself : “What do I let live through my own living?” “How does it serve or not serve the betterment of my self and all those around me?”
I learned through one of my greatest mentors, JLove Calderon, that victimization is a state of being that can be chosen and we keep ourselves there by blaming, complaining, justifying and staying in a state of confusion that makes life seemingly unclear, that makes us powerless to circumstances and that makes life a problem where we focus on negativity and don’t take the time to truly breathe in gratitude for the goodness of life, and move in a direction where we take the agency within ourselves to change our thoughts, and words, and actions, and practices- to shape our living. I did not grow up in a household with the greatest societal privileges, but I have chosen the privilege of consciousness and I have chosen to share that wealth. I have experienced unexpected and uncontrollable sufferings of life, and have come to understand that many of these things are man made. And I have invested myself in deconstructing and unlearning these teachings and replacing them with thoughts, words and actions that counter human created suffering.
Human beings are at their center creators, and we have created so much beauty and enchantment in this world, but we also have created so much pain, hardship and oppression as well. Death and destruction of human being and the earth through greed and hatred that cause poverty, famine, torture and suffering- are all a part of human contribution to this living, this is the reality that is fed into every waking moment, through thought, and words, and actions, that have become practice, that have bred deep belief that this is the way life is. That these conditions are more powerful than our own will. I have given myself permission to wake up every morning and release little by little and understand deeper and more readily that I can listen to something different than what path I am being told is the one I should be taking, contrived by messages that seek to feed deeper into this state of victimization that human beings have created. I listen instead to the messages that release me from fear of speaking my thoughts, and instead make me communicate my thoughts with an intention to seek deepened understanding of what I mean and what others mean when they speak the truths they have uncovered in their living. I listen to the messages that make me act with the utmost integrity, that support me in creating relationships that encourage exchange of presence that uplifts and inspires. I listen to the messages that remind me that I have much to learn and unlearn and that I should seek out these experiences with humility and wonderment. I listen to the messages that encourage me to create ritual of practices that feed my soul, that make me feel connected to all things, that strengthen my ability to love all of living, and love my self as a reflection of all of living. I listen to the messages that continually say “Be Grateful,” “Be Humble,” “Be Happy,” “Be You.”
Everyday my Journey has become clearer and clearer. Life has given me the opportunity “to give practice to that which,” as Perla Daly had written so clearly
“…increases our awareness,
Harmonizes logic with intuition,
Marries our hearts with our minds,
Uplifts us and inspires us,
Connects us to to that which fires us,
I have been waking up every morning the past week looking around me at the artifacts, the relics, the writings, the creations, that I have gathered from the life I have realized. And I feel so blessed to make the movements that support the further realization of my life’s Journey. And with joy I’ve shared so much of this reflections in exchange with those around me.
Lately, I find myself breathing through moments of transition so deeply and with such joy. When maybe even a year ago I would find myself in despair and sorrow at the challenges that present themselves before me. I breathe through these moments and re-member myself- my beliefs, my thoughts, my words, my actions and what I practice to readily move forward on my Journey.
I exhale with gratitude every thing and person I have let go of to make room and give energy to what and who I know will serve my path and that I can serve in their existence in exchange. I learned long before that: not everyone will rise with you, some benefit from you not rising. Look around you and see who understands truly that when you rise so do they, and when they rise so will you. I exhale with acceptance of the things and people that fall away from my life is something I have learned to hold with ease and grace and joy.
I inhale learning, learning, and more learning- through conversation that is filled with questioning and the seeking of clarity, through full presence that allows me to feel the magic and miracle of life, through humbling myself to the fact that nothing is ever fully learned and to being aware that my truth lives beside many truths of many beings creating their existence beside my own.
I exhale with humility, the releasing of my ego and every moment it makes me feel I need to compare my life to someone else’s to realize my own worth. I exhale my ego because it doesn’t allow me the ability to just exist in my greatest self without validation from others.
I inhale with love, the over-standing of connection to all things that exist as I exist, that pushes me to build in community with surrender to the transformation into a more whole self as I discover the self I never knew lived within me, in another. My life is a reflection of all the people and experiences I have engaged with, and I understand how I have learned about who I am from so many. I honor them by honoring this walk on a path that I know they all have helped me make clearer everyday.
And I am more than ever allowing myself to find joy and trust in every transition. I am present, I am ready to live, I am ready to see and hear and feel my path unfolding and to move forward and upward with clarity and lift.
I am on my Journey. I am alive. I am me.